Saturday, June 18, 2005

Emerging Factors

UPDATE @ 8:53 pm: Everything is fine. Now my fingers can rest easy, my boy just needs a few different antibiotics for an infection and a few thousand kisses from his dad. Best Father's Day gift I could get right now, really.

I tore through my comics with a ferocity. Not that the task is difficult by any means most read too fast anyway. Or in the case of Powers, barely read at all. This is one night, one time out of many I suppose where ignorance is far from bliss. I have never much cared for myself, whatever happened did just that. As long as nobody else was worse for wear... it just didn't matter. But someone, something ... saw fit to give me a child. And suddenly, a very precious being, he is mine to worry about. As if no matter how much I denied myself the ability to give a damn, I was always going to have to at some point.

I hate blink of the eye kind of stuff, seemingly strange occurances... just materializing from nothing. I hate it in stories, I hate in movies. But it happens in life, in reality. Quite a bit. My existence... your existence... it is blink of the eye kind of stuff. I got a call at 6:30 pm this evening from my wife, to say that she was getting off of work early. That she had gotten a call from her grandmother, that our son's neck was swollen, he was barely eating... and seemed to be in pain.

Left to think what I will for the past hour and a half, it was all I could do to read comics. To write this blog even. This is a time when I would beg anyone who had information, for something... something to soothe not knowing. I hope that tomorrow, or tonight, I can leave that "Everything is fine." update that even now my fingers are fidgeting to type. Someone, something ... saw fit to give me a child. And suddenly, a very precious being, he is mine to worry about. And I can only thank that same force, that my son was not here with me. For what could I have done?

3 comments:

Kev said...

That must have been horrible :-( I'm so glad that he's OK, though. I know that panic when a child is really sick. There is nothing quite like it. It brings home exactly how much they mean to you in a way that slips by you in the course of the day to day routine.

And you know, if he had been with you, you would have found a way. Maybe not the obvious way of jumping in the car and taking him to the doctor's yourself, but I know you would have found a way to ensure he got that attention he needed.

I think you are a fantastic father, and I wouldn't mind betting your son would agree with me.

So, happy Father's Day. Enjoy your beautiful boy...

Darediva said...

Happy Father's Day, amigo! You be the Cheese Puff Daddy of all times! ; )

Kit said...

glad to hear your little one is doing better. 8^)